He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
