I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
