Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
