Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
