At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
