are you still at the devil's house?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
