When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
