you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
