toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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