i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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