You're completely useless in the revolution.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
