Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
