If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
