You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
