When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
