oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Are we still banned from the library?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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