Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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