toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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