I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
