The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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