I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
