i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
