I hope mine doesn't look like that
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
