guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
