So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
