Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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