Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
