dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
