with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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