When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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