I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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