My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
