Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
