TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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