he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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