I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
