DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
