Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
