please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
