next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
