laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Randomize
