the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
