you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
