Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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