I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
