Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
