i just google imaged poop.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
