how can u be prego again
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
