They should really pass out barf bags in church
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
