I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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