sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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