tell your sister to shave her snatch
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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