But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
