was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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